Saturday, January 13, 2007

Oh those young whippersnappers...

Dear World,

Yesterday I braved many odds (freezing weather, freezing weather, freezing weather) to watch the greatest movie of all time and its name was:

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Despite being mocked by many friends (haters), who insisted that the You Got Served/Drumline hybrid was mired in foolish predictability, I was still hopeful. And even though buying the ticket was perhaps the most shameful experience of my life, even beating out that time I had to watch the re-release of E.T. in theaters by myself (For a movie review! For a movie review!), I DON’T REGRET IT, OK???

Come to think of it, watching the thing was like being in a middle school minigangsta hoochie showdown movie of my own. As we were hit by repeated volleys of various hard candies every twenty minutes and regaled with a loud ghetto fabulous commentary on every single event that unfolded on screen (as well as an ear-piercing shriek whenever Chris Brown appeared), I felt the atmosphere to be ripe for a break dance fight. Or a real fight.

So here’s a break down:

The Good:
1) My dream of watching/participating in a stroll fight is partially fulfilled.
2) A PURE GOLD soundtrack that I will fiendishly mine for gym-worthy songs.
3) Megan Good (dare I make the pun) looks good.
4) Akon, the suddenly ubiquitous belle of the pop culture ball, is not in this movie.

The Bad:
1) Needs more stepping!
2) Shaky camera technique aimed at “realism” only yields “mild motion sickness.”
3) Use of “hissing” as part of a fraternity’s chant only incited the middle schoolers around me into bouts of intermittent hissing of their own.

4 comments:

KDW said...

I wonder what would happen to me if I went to an all black university. It would either turn out really well...or I would die.

Getchyo hands off me dog!

Anonymous said...

nobody's seen stompin until they've seen me.

*pats thighs and chest*

Alvin said...

I still can't believe that "Fake Drumline" made number 1 at the box office.

SnowyMobs said...

Stomp the Yard sounds mildy entertaining... unlike Children of Men, which was a real snoozefest. The soundtrack for that movie will probably just be the sound of bullets narrowing missing Clive Owen.. I mean really, he's a big dude, how hard can he be to gun down?