COMPLAIN COMPLAIN COMPLAIN

As time grinds on with characteristic constancy, I notice a frightening trend gaining prevalence among all those around me. And though I’ve always tried to ignore this ugly disease, it seems that I can no longer resist talking about it, probably a side effect of the numerous Splenda packets that I’ve taken to consuming every afternoon with tea, hot water, or you know air.

Why are we so boring?

And to be honest, by “we,” I really mean “people I exchange words with in a social context” and by that I really mean “one-track mind, career-obsessed Asians in their early twenties.” You are probably not so dissimilar from these people if your post-college life can be easily summarized with the following possibilities: a) some sort of grad school, b) some sort of finance job, c) some sort of tech job, d) some sort of bullshit research job designed to give you the extra padding needed for achieving choice “a.”

This is all very hugs and puppies since having a future probably ea$$$$es the mind, but I wish we could all stop talking about it and obsessing over it and facebooking it. To tell you the truth, I don’t really care about your job or your 5-year-plan or your finances or your masturbatory need to play a game of show-and-tell with fake shorthand that I’m supposed to accept as fact such as “J.P.” or “Goldman” or “HLS.”

But I get it, I really do. You have a future. Fresh out of school and your life has direction, so you must repeat it as often as you can. You’re finally freeee … to whore all the Access/Xcape parties to your heart’s content, to invest in crap, file taxes, and go to happy hour. But you’re also boring. I mean I can hardly remember the last time I actually had a real-life conversation with someone without using the words “future plans” in a serious manner.

Let’s talk about something else already! Remember when we had real interests that weren’t “fake interests” designed to make you seem a) socially cooler or b) an appealing candidate for admissions at some sort of school? For example, I enjoy looking at pictures of ongoing construction in Dubai and searching for ingredient-substitutions to make recipes less fatty, among other things.

COME ON! Just look:



They're mini-islands that together produce a mini-replica of the entire world! What is better than this?? Well, perhaps Lasercats (not plain, regular cats) and maybe that really sleepy welsh corgi puppy.