DREARY JANUARY POST

Hello world, as I prepare to embark on another epic cross-Atlantic sojourn back to my ship of indentured servitude, I will attempt to make some semblance of a non-alcohol related post. OR SOMETHING. It's been rainy and awful this whole trip back home and I don't know whether it's my horrible personality coming out or my age shining through but SRSLY, I am reminded each time I return to the Bay that this is not where I want to be (these are not the droids you are looking for).

Here are things I would rather be doing:

- Happy hour and appetizers at Katsuya in Studio City

- Pub crawl in Manhattan Beach

- Afternoon perusing at 3rd St.

- Irresponsible midday movie at Century City

- Drinking my face off in Hollywood

- Visiting bffs in the OC (don't call it that)

- Weekend trips to Palm Springs

Ok, I have a date with LA in 2014 and it's one I don't intend to break.

I UPDATE NOW WHILE INEBRIATED

Today I slipped into the holiday spirit by beginning alcohol consumption at the ripe hour of 10 am with a light helping of 10-year-old whiskey from a CASK. This was soon followed up with:

- hot cider + apple brandy

- hot vanilla vodka + amaretto

- hot chocolate + rum

- hot chocolate + bailey's

This would lead me to believe that my weekends have now transformed into an unfavorable routine where I play the plum role of town drunkard and have constant love/hate theoretical txt msgs w/ my worked-to-death liver. Here is how I assume these interactions would go:

Liver: tireeeed

Me: shutup, u and earn ur keep

Stomach: sup guys

Me: ur old news

We all chuckle and laugh about this jaunt into mild alcoholism but geez me, ORLY? I'm pretty sure near the end of the night, I drunkenly purchased another knit sweater and earmuffs in the shape of penguins.

And anti-wrinkle eye cream. SINCE I GOTS TO TAKE CARE OF SELF

AMIRITE?

Also, I may need to consume enough water to deplete the Central Valley irrigation system for two years. Ughhhhh.

Why wasn't I here?

Gunners at the Lake show. I don't even know. I suppose this is a nice upside from the saddest game of all time that I had to endure two days ago but Theo seems to be missing. In other news, I am far from being packed for my move. WHY IS IT SO DAUNTING?

RETURN OF THE KING

I have managed to survive and return from my international travels. My brain is like mush and my body feels like it has aged 9000 years. I am glad for all the experiences but it was definitely a roller coaster of highs and lows. Many many logistical lows.

Twas the night before xmas...

Well management sold off VDV to the archrivals of my PL team. Irony, you taste like poorly translated Spanish news articles.

In other news, I am about to embark on a lengthy trip to the far side of the world. I hope to return less frustrated with LIFE in general and with a tan that lasts through the bleak winter months (haha I wish). I will also have minimal access to Internet and other forms of time-wasting communication. We'll see how this pans out.

City of Injury, Espana

What is going on guys? WHY IS EVERYONE INJURED after only one game? Pretty soon, Mou is going to have to sub in ME or something. Something something SAD ROMANCE. Life is sad when you can only get news through GOOGLE TRANSLATE where everything inevitably sounds awkward and slightly wrong. All I know is, if Pipita gets injured, I will need to compose a song of sad lament.

WANTED: on call +1 to activities/functions/travels

One of the greatest challenges in life is finding a someone with whom you can spend long durations of time on a 1-on-1 basis without feeling the need to punch them in the face. It just so happens that many of the fun things I want to do would often be easier/ go smoother/ be more enjoyable if there was another person in the mix. I guess SOME people would call this "finding a spouse" (but these people are likely mopey, lovesick virgins). What I really need is the ultimate "+1."

Requirements:

- you are above average in terms of athleticism

- you are not afraid of nature

- you are willing to try new things

- we can make each other laugh

- you are willing to partake in my absurd demands for photograph + willing to pose in oft-embarrassing ways for amusement's sake

- you do not make comments about my eating habits

- you are financially prudent rather than one who makes I-have-no-money a constant topic of conversation in a way that insinuates you want me to pay for things

- you are not averse to alcoholic beverages

- you dress appropriately for the occasion

- you are NOT afflicted with indecision

- you do not suddenly disappear off the face of the earth when you are dating someone NOR do you suddenly prioritize this new significant other to the detriment of your actual friends

- you do not FLAKE ON ME with little or no notice

If girl:

- you do not "dress up" to clearly grueling/grimy activities

- you are not a mindless robot who thinks any handbag with ... LV classic print, Coach "C" print, Gucci "G" print is the height of ~fashion~

- you better be able to do it to it/suck it up/etc. when SHIT GETS REAL

If guy:

- you own shoes besides sneakers + Converse

- you do not engage in the constant game of let's-compare-resumes

- just because I'm a girl does not mean I want to hear about your ~feelings~ or ~hopes & dreams~

- we are splitting the bill, don't argue