The Life of a Rich Man's Wife

Since last semester's anticlimactic end, many people have asked me what exactly is it that I do everyday aside from writing that deadly behemoth of an honors essay.

"Isn't it boring??"
"Don't you miss school?"

And perhaps it is a sign of my flailing youth or my intrinsic geriatric inclinations, but I actually quite enjoy my life of leisure and often fear if I can ever get back into book-learning-mode. Or interacting-with-people-without-being-supremely-irritated mode. Har. But back to point. Here is what I do everyday:

• blog writing
  
• blog reading
• exercising
  
• food making (and food eating)
  
• netflixing
• reading books with no pictures
• taking pictures of not-myself
• restaurant sampling
• LSD-reading (bad, bad habit)
• loehmann's + loehmann's-esque places (since I now hate going to the middle school zoo that is Valley Fair or the continuous AzN party that is Santana Row)
• movie watching
• trying v. v. hard to resist caffeine
• wine sampling
• occaisional tourist-y things
• trying new music via ruckus
  

An Uncultured Sort of Girl

My efforts towards self-refinement tend to end badly so I don’t know why I thought this one would end differently. If there was a culprit, it would be my family’s diligent weekly pilgrimage to Costco (it’s like clockwork), which makes picking up a random bottle of wine so easy as you casually make your way from house wares to raw meat. I usually can’t resist reading at least two descriptive labels, but it only takes two for the Lush effect* to completely incapacitate my common sense while cajoling me with a sweet lullaby of “buyyyy meeee!” (*The Lush effect is a heinous consequence of entering any Lush store whereupon one is assaulted with yummy phrases like “hint of honey” or “splash of peach” that conjure pleasant imagery for all senses … mmmm so good).

And two bottles of Riesling, one bottle of Chardonnay, and one bottle of Muscat later, I realize that I am no closer to being a connoisseur of wine. This is because wine tastes like alcohol rather than the sweet fruit juice that I secretly hope it to be after reading its charming product description. For example, to the left, you can see my most recent purchase, which I’ve almost finished consuming. It is a 10 year tawny Portuguese port.

I have no idea what that means, but here is how Tesco (my fave supermarket … although I do also enjoy Trader Joe’s) describes it:

Fine elegant tawny port … Delicate fig and raisin flavours and a long, nutty finish.

Right. Here is how I would describe it: initially bearable but with a long alcohol-y finish that brings back shameful memories of store-brand vodka cooled on my window sill and drunk from an empty Nutella container (classy!).

So I’m slightly giving up on my dream of being refined. I’ll stick with my sissy girl Chardonnays and the occasional champagne. But I did learn one thing from my experimentation: even the “driest” of wines tastes magically delicious with the right amount of diet Snapple.

Wheeee! I'm posting!

It's a sad sad day when your recreational writing has degenerated into a warped gooey mess of exclamation marks and painfully butchered endearments (HUN HUN HUN .... every time I see this word my eyes bleed a little). So I have decided to step it up with this blog. Though at times gut-wrenchingly pretentious, I promise you I will always use the spellcheck.

There are some things in life that I enjoy unconditionally. And here they are:

1) Beginning sentences with "and" because it makes me feel so cutting edge and sophisticated. AHYUK.

2) Buying shoes because their suitability lies independent of one's weight.

3) B-R-E-A-D. Whole wheat, sour dough, pumpernickel, rye, garlic, cheese, sesame, French, German, Italian, strucla, pain aux noix, roti, naan, focaccia, baguette, and everything else!

4) Laughing (Doesn't this sound like a saccharin feel-good mid-afternoon infomercial on Lifetime about something ambiguous).

5) SOUP (goes especially good with number three)

6) Reading the blogs of people I despise. Haha I guess this was a quick JUMP in topic, but it's the truth! Sadly, my unofficial blogroll is characterized by the following dichotomy: guilty pleasure blogs and laugh out loud blogs. The latter is pretty self-explanatory, but the former is what constitutes the whole of this NUMBER SIX thing that I love: the blogs of people who shamelessly (and thoroughly) explicate every emotional detail of their lives complete with ascerbic bursts of rage and generously complete backstories. It's like James Joyce on crack. It's like a Korean soap opera on my PC without the cancer and the amnesia and the long lost siblings. And it gets updated every week. And sometimes there are pictures. And it's housed on xanga. hahahaha.

7) Caffeine. GOD I LOVE CAFFEINE like an asian girl likes eyeliner. I will even try caffeine soap if you get it for me. Mmmmm blood vessels expandddinggggg.

8) Furry, pudgy, animals who are squishy and cute and adorable. (welsh corgi). harharhar


I guess the last thing was a cop-out for confessing to be such a monster via NUMBER 6. But this was the first real entry I wrote in a long time: pictureless and uncensored.